Today I went to the Mt Dandenong festival where a band called Jaspora was playing (one of my friend knows the members of the band and had raved on about how good their reggae/soca music is ("you won't stop dancing" - she promised)... The weather was pretty moody, with alternating periods of sunshine and pouring rain. There was a power failure so the gig didn't kick off until pretty late... While waiting for the set up, I found my mind wandering...
I was in a place that held significant memories for me. It was a place that marked the end of something which went too deep too quickly, a relationship which never came to fruition, and a goodbye to a person that I still really care for but has moved on from my life. I know it all happened for the best, but on this day, in this place, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia and a pang of sadness, as I continued to remember... Sassafras Village Green, Ripe, Sky High...
It seems that my mind naturally associates places with memories, and the curse is such that I can never go back to a place without remembering the significant memories (whether happy or hurtful).
Lately I've caught myself doing this a lot - I'll walk past a particular restaurant, remember the certain occasion that I had gone there for, and think to myself: "well, I screwed that one up". Then I walked past a particular theatre, remembered the humour of a certain situation, and thought: "yep, I screwed that one up too". Funnily, it's often with a smile that I make such an observation to myself. Bad timing, misread signals, mismatched expectations, unsuredness, not knowing what ones wants, self-centredness ... In hindsight, such "screw ups" may often be blessings in disguise. Who knows. The best may be yet to come.
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